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Fuckboy behavior, in my mind, is a broad spectrum of behaviors linked to wasting someone’s time. Anybody can exhibit fuckboy behavior and take advantage of someone’s goodwill.However, you refer to your Sweater Thief using she/her pronouns, and I believe that it would be more accurate to call her a “Fuckgirl”. Just because she kind of sucks doesn’t justify misgendering her.When The Hoodie Thief Is Not A Fuckgirl:Saladfingers enthusiast and current most interesting person on the internet Teshale Neur brought up an incredibly interesting point while I was mulling over the case of the Hoodie Thief.“I’ve been in that sitch? Where you’re asking for something that is insignificant as a means of connection. I think it works both ways: yes they should give you your hoodie, but also get a new hoodie.”They asserted, and I agreed, that even if the hoodie was being held as a means of manipulation and control, that these are not exclusively Fuckgirl behaviors across the board. The key here, in my opinion, is health and survival.

A Fuckgirl acts not out of a need to be healthy or survive, but out of a sheer want to hold all of the power in an interaction.Not wanting to give something back to an ex fresh off of a breakup, because of emotional baggage and other reasons, is not Fuckgirl as much as it is human. And as with all things human, there is no way to predict what the healthiest response is any given situation. Maybe you get the hoodie back immediately, maybe you get it back in a year. Neither are wrong answers.Why Your Hoodie Thief Is Actually A Fuckgirl Though:The rule of thumb I am using for this verdict is the “predictability” clause. What separates the Fuckgirl from the “human” category of behavior that I defined above? Fuckgirls and their actions can be picked out of a lineup specifically because they fit a mold.Your Hoodie Thief performed the theater of the “trash bag full of your shit”, complete with a new hook-up’s underwear for extra emotional damage, and absolutely made the conscious decision to omit your favorite article of clothing.

At this point, keeping the hoodie is not about preserving a healthy distance from you until she feels better about the breakup/ready to be around you again. She stole the hoodie to put herself in a position of power in the breakup, telling you that you are only worthy of your own stuff when it is administered at her discretion.In the same way that ghosting says “you are not worthy of attention unless I am fulfilled” and orgasm inequality says “you are not worthy of your pleasure unless I am fulfilled”, your Hoodie Thief stole your comfy sweater to tell you that you are lesser than she.As for what you can do about it, I think you are already following Teshale’s very sound advice. Get a new hoodie, one that is twice as grey, three times as heathered, and super fucking comfy. Make it smell like the you that doesn’t date her anymore, and let this new cumulous cloud with sleeves whisk you away from all that bullshit. As much as she might try, the Hoodie Thief only has power over you if you believe that her owning a piece of clothing is a measure of your self-worth.