Try going back to the homepageIDEAS WE DIDN'T USE: TESTY FESTY Van Meter, Iowa is the home-town of RAYGUN owner/founder Mike Draper and now the home of Central Iowa's premiere bull-nuts-based festival: Testy Festy. This is the festival's first year, and Mike was honored to donate his high-school-level maturity to the name and artwork. We had to castrate a lot of great nuggets in the process, so have a ball with all the could-have-been slogans: Sack 'Em or Eat 'Em Lick 'Em, Taste 'Em, Eat 'Em Come for the Testicles, Stay for the Company Come for the Balls, Stay for the Sacks Come for the Balls, Stay for the small-town Charm Come for our Balls, Stay for our Conservative Small-town Charm Eat Our Balls, Enjoy our Small-Town Charm Discover our Town and Eat our Balls Turn Your Head and Eat Turn Your Head and enjoy yourself Turn Your Head, Cough, and Enjoy Yourself Hold On To Your Balls, Eat Ours It's Only Beastiality if the Balls are Still Attached

Remember to Remove the Balls from Bull First We Guarantee the Balls will not be attached to the Bull No Bull, All Balls Our Balls Are Cooked, Never Blue Balls that won't cost your family jewels A Fundraiser that won't cost  your family jewels Snack on Ball Sacks Find Out if there's a little seamen in there From Infantry to Seamen Where Our Privates are finally public Taste the Protein Pendulum Taste the Swingin' Beef Swingin' Beef: It's What's for Dinner and a little art that was, how you say, off-putting in regards to food:Man Gets 132-lb. Scrotum Removed, New Lease on Life [There was a video here]Wesley Warren Jr.'s ball sac was about the size of a dolphin's head. It made him into something of a viral star. He appeared on shows like TLC's Strange Sex, and was interviewed for articles claiming he enjoyed the fame resulting from his scrotal lymphedema. He waddled everywhere with an upside down hoodie between his legs and sometimes used his scrotum as a mobile table, off which he'd eat food.

He lived with this condition for about five years, which he blames on the healthcare system.While earlier profiles suggested that Warren was reluctant to have his balls reduced, last night's The Man with the 132-lb. Scrotum (also on TLC, duh and of course) detailed the removal of the skin and muscles that had grown around his genitals. He still has his balls (some doctors told him castration was the only way to put his sac behind him) and now he can play miniature golf. This is a triumph of modern medicine, the human spirit, and mobility over genitals. Next up for Warren is love (hopefully). His home-healthcare worker, Passion, who was the wind beneath his wings and the sponge atop his sac on his Strange Sex segment, was nowhere to be found on last night's special. The ball sac will be specially crafted into a new outfit for Lady Gaga.Guts TattooOrgan ManiaHeart GutsAnatomical HeartsSweet TattoosBeautiful SweetHeart Tattoos550 550Temporary TattooForwardAn I Heart Guts tattoo that we made with our friends over at Tattly!

It wasn’t an edifying sight. I’m trying to think of an analogy that captures the enormity of what Clarkson has just done. In terms of sheer cringeworthiness, I suppose it would be that sick but oddly compelling documentary I saw the other night called Dan’s 80lb Testicle, about a man with an unfeasibly large growth on his undercarriage which he had to lumber round the streets of LA using an upside down hoodie.frs hoodie In terms of pusillanimity, it would be something along the lines of Sir Francis Drake on the bowling green at Plymouth looking down at the Spanish Armada and saying: “You know what, me hearties? valencia cf hoodieLet’s get in our ships, sharpish, and sail off somewhere nice and safe, like the other side of the world. women's thermoball hoodie sale

It’s plain as a pikestaff that England is lost.” In terms of nauseating, oleaginous, social climbing disgustingness it’s like Uriah Heep on his knees ever so ‘umbly presenting a BBC tribute to the late Princess of Wales, filmed at Althorp with  hour long interviews with Earl Spencer and Tony Blair with songs by Sir Elton John performed by the children of Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital, entitled “Still Queen of All our Hearts.” odd future lucas hoodie for saleOn Brown Nose Day.assassin's creed 3 outfits during cutscenes Really, though, there is no metaphor or image or simile on earth quite dramatic enough to capture the shaming spinelessness, the platitudinous vapidity, the intellectual feebleness, the surrender-the-pass cowardliness of the piece Clarkson wrote yesterday in the Sunday Times “explaining” why, all things considered, he thinks it’s a good idea for Britain to remain in the European Union.superdry hoodie ebay uk

Here is an extract to give you a taste. Whether I’m sitting in a railway concourse in Brussels or pottering down the canals of southwestern France or hurtling along a motorway in Croatia, I feel way more at home than I do when I’m trying to get something to eat in Dallas or Sacramento. buy cat hoodie with kangaroo pouchI love Europe, and to me that’s important. I’m the first to acknowledge that so far the EU hasn’t really worked. We still don’t have standardised electrical sockets, and every member state is still out for itself, not the common good. This is the sort of thing that causes many people to think, “Well, let’s just leave and look after ourselves in future.”And after I’d watched Hannan’s speech, that’s briefly how I felt too. But, actually, isn’t it better to stay in and try to make the damn thing work properly? To create a United States of Europe that functions as well as the United States of America?

With one army and one currency and one unifying set of values? So Jeremy Clarkson’s arguments for Britain remaining in the European Union boil down to two things. There are lots of piss-poor columnists out there who you can easily imagine churning out this kind of bilge. But Clarkson really isn’t one of them. For a start, he has forged his entire career on tell-it-like-it-is-outspokenness and political incorrectness (especially where uppity foreigners are concerned). Also, he’s not stupid. The reason his collected columns tend to go to the top of the bestseller lists is partly because they’re funny but partly because they’re true. He has a gift for boiling down the political concerns of our time into a punchy but chatty style, replete with colourful images, witty asides and broad jokes which make them accessible to everyone. Here, though, he’s not doing any of that. There is no way – in the unlikely event that he could ever bring himself to reread those words – that Clarkson will ever be able to look at that column and go: “Yup.

I really nailed it, there.” Because he patently hasn’t. This isn’t just a fail. It is, by some margin, the worst Jeremy Clarkson column ever. Or at least the worst of the many I have read and (invariably) admired. In fact what strikes me most is that here is the very exemplar of the kind of column you write when your heart just isn’t in it, when you’re making an argument you simply don’t believe in. I noticed this fall off in quality in Boris Johnson’s columns after he became a politician. You can be a good columnist or you can be politic but you cannot be both. (Which incidentally was the theory I was going to tell you about why, apart from personal ambition, I believe Boris decided in the end to opt for Brexit. I think it was the instinct of a professional columnist who knows he cannot shy from the truth any longer). We’ve all done it from time to time – usually for the money – but the experience when you sell out is so hateful, I find, that you rarely repeat it too often, even for the thirty pieces of silver.

By odd coincidence, one piece I vividly recall turning down was a commission from the Mail about ten years ago slagging off one Jeremy Clarkson. I love writing for the Mail because the money’s good. But on this occasion I said no because I considered Clarkson such a heroic ally in the war on political correctness it seemed quite wrong to pick him up on some venial slip he’d made. Once a columnist abandons these principles, I believe, he is lost. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to look at Clarkson in the same way again, however good his Top Gear replacement series is, because all I’ll be thinking is: “You had a choice, Jeremy. Either to go to the wall for the cause you believe in. Or to sell your soul to something you don’t believe in just because you live near the Prime Minister in the Cotswolds, share the same circle of posho friends and want to curry favour with the smart set.” Luckily, a solution presents itself which I think will make the parting process much easier.